Agreeing

At a loss for what to do when the girls fight over something, I decided to make them work on their negotiation skills.

I've done it a few times before, like when they would fight over who got the first drink of water at bedtime. I made them discuss it with each other and decide who would get it, or they would have to go without. They talked about it, and, with the coaxing of Summer, Claire decided to let her go first. That's how it usually ends.

This morning at breakfast, Summer and Claire were both fighting over the yellow chair. I told them to discuss it. Their fighting voices quieted as they tried to work it out.

It was fun to hear their reasonings ("But I need it." or "But it's my favorite chair.") and the ideas they were coming up with. But they still couldn't decide who would get it for the immediate meal.

"Claire, let's do a pattern. Me, then you, then me, then you."

"Okay. But I'm first."

"No, I'm first. Or I get it two times in a row."

"No!"

Every few minutes, I'd check back with them: "Are all in agreement on who gets the yellow chair?"

"Yes."

"Then, Claire, who gets it?"

"Me."

"And Summer, who gets it?"

"Me."

"Okay, keep discussing."

The "discussing" went a little long this morning, and Rhett and I were getting a little impatient. There was a threat of no one getting the yellow chair at all, but then I wanted to see if they were going to work it out so we rescinded.

Finally, I asked again, "Girls, are you in agreement of who gets the yellow chair?"

"Yes."

"Claire, who gets the yellow chair for breakfast?"

"Me."

"And Summer, who gets the yellow chair this morning?"

Summer paused. Her lip quivered. Quietly, she said, "Claire." Then she burst into tears. "But I do not agree! And I do not like it!"

I held her while she cried, and I told her I was proud of her giving up something she wanted so much so her sister could have it.

The meal is done, and it's forgotten, but I'm still feeling proud of how Summer let Claire have it.